Meditation for Easter 3
Collect
Almighty Father, who in your great mercy gladdened the disciples with the sight of the risen Lord: Give us such knowledge of his presence with us, that we may be strengthened and sustained by his risen life and serve you continually in righteousness and truth; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Acts 9: 1-9 Saul’s Conversion
Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”
“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.
“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.
John 21: 15-19
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ A second time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’ He said to him the third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ And he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep.
Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.’ (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, ‘Follow me.’
Forgiving and being Forgiven
Degrees of hurt: Ignorance, Carelessness, Insult, Treachery, Psychological harm, Physical Harm.
It is a well-known fact that forgiving those who have caused you damage – to whatever degree – is a major contribution to recovery. I read that Neville Lawrence, whose son Stephen was killed by a mindless group of racist thugs, had eventually decided to forgive his son’s killers because ‘it was a heavy load to carry around.’ Even though it is hard enough to forgive those who have hurt you, it must be especially difficult to forgive those who have hurt someone you love.
Even more moving, with amazing dignity and grace, Esther Ghey, whose daughter Brianna Ghey was murdered by Scarlett Jenkinson and Eddie Ratcliffe in a premeditated attack in a Warrington park in 2023, has revealed that she now considers Emma Jenkinson, the mother of her daughter’s killer “a friend”. “We have both lost a child”, she said.
But difficult as it is to forgive, it is even harder to be forgiven – even though words of forgiveness have been offered, there will be times during early sleepless hours of wondering whether it will ever be possible to forgive oneself. Some people try to punish themselves, but the punishment can never be enough. Some people throw themselves into Caring roles or Charity work – but at the back of the mind, there is always a niggling reminder that things done can never be undone, and that no amount of punishment will change the past.
We look to Peter’s betrayal, Paul’s persecution of the early Christians, John Newton’s slave trading; examples of deep hurt against the Kingdom. And yet they were able to put their past behind and fulfil their calling. They realised that the only complete and satisfactory penance can never be restitution of the act itself, but the expiation of the sin that caused that act. That can only happen at the foot of the Cross, and it alone is effective and sufficient.
In the meanwhile, we forgive others, and thank the Lord that our own forgiveness comes through Him. Whatever we’ve done. Whoever we are. We are forgiven.
How many times?
I held the hammer. I hit the nails squarely.
The hands that made me, I slammed iron through.
I am sorry, Lord. Lord, what of me? I forgive you.
I condemned Him. I lied so they would convict Him
I perjured myself in His Presence.
I am sorry, Lord. Lord, what of me? I forgive you.
I broke His law. I ate, and watched other starve.
I drank while I saw them die of thirst.
I am sorry, Lord. Lord, what of me? I forgive you.
I was atheist. I searched; I weighed the evidence.
I could not (perhaps would not?) believe. I denied you.
I am sorry, Lord, Lord, what of me? I forgive you.
I stole. I saw what the rich had, and I envied them.
What was theirs, I took.
I am sorry, Lord. Lord, what of me? I forgive you.
I killed. In cold blood, I slew a man.
I thought my prosperity more important than his life.
I am sorry, Lord. Lord, what of me? I forgive you.
I was the prostitute.
There was nothing I would not do…
… did not do, for money.
I am sorry, Lord. Don’t worry about me,
but Lord, what of my child? I forgive you.
I heard what you said, but of course, I don’t actually need you.
I never hurt anyone. I’m much better than all those other people.
I didn’t do anything nearly as bad.
I don’t really know much about you, but you can’t blame me for that.
I never had time to think about you, you see. Perhaps when I’m older.
Religion’s really only for children and old people, isn’t it?
And if you’re true, you’ll make sure I’m alright anyway.
So what about me?
I said, what about me?
What about me???
ANSWER ME!
HOW DARE YOU IGNORE ME!
JESUS CHRIST, MAN, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
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